Final piece process writing

I really enjoyed writing this piece. It was great to sit down with the guys and hear about their feelings toward about the program and the situation they're in. The audio slideshow was also very satisfying to complete (though quite frustrating as well). Completing it though and seeing the completed work felt very good. It took way more time than I originally anticipated, but at the end of it, I was happy to had spent the time to create something I was happy with.

Kalamazoo College Tennis

Featuring: Matthew Colapinto, Peter Rothstein, Skippy Faber and Michael Korn

It Remains.

The famous coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Winning is a habit.” The Kalamazoo College men’s tennis team adopted the habit in 1936 and they haven’t kicked it since.

On April 3, the Calvin Knights did their best to help end a 74-year habit. The Knights defeated the Hornets 6-3 at home. All of a sudden, it was in jeopardy.

“It was a quiet car ride back,” said junior Peter Rothstein. “We all knew what was at stake.”

The Hornets’ loss to Calvin was just the third time in 75 years the team had lost a dual-match in the MIAA and the first ever loss to Calvin.

“It was horrible. It was the worst day of the year,” said junior Michael Korn.

The team boarded the bus at Calvin scared, uncertain of what the next weeks would hold for them. Every player tried to handle it differently. Some immediately put headphones in, attempting to drown out their thoughts with music. Some tried to joke, lighten the mood, not think about. And others did nothing. Staring forward, silent.

“Even the people that were talking, you knew what was going through their head, ‘what just happened?’” said Korn.

“I was extremely concerned after. We had never lost to Calvin before. And I had never been a part of an MIAA loss,” said junior Skippy Faber.

Coach Mark Riley made it a point in his post-match speech to his team that Hope could still beat Calvin and, if K beat Hope, create a three-way tie atop the standings. It could be preserved. Still, the team rode down US-131 in silence.

“It was the lowest I’ve ever seen the mood in my time here. Really bad,” said Faber. “People didn’t talk for days.”

“I take things like that very hard,” said Korn. “It was a really bad three weeks, not just one day.”

Kalamazoo College men’s tennis is defined by excellence. The team has won seven national championships, with the most recent coming in 1993. They’ve made the NCAA tournament every year since its inception in 1976, including winning the national championship that first year. None of those accomplishments silenced the Hornets on April 3, though. Instead, it was the looming pressure of it.

“There is pressure. We don’t want to be the team that loses it,” said Rothstein.

“It’s motivating and makes you work really hard. It’s something I think about every day,” said Korn.

In the end, Coach Riley ended up being right. Hope defeated Calvin 6-3 on the last day of the MIAA regular season matches, the same day Kalamazoo completed their season with a 9-0 victory at Alma. It was preserved.

“The first thing I thought of was 74 years of doing something in a row and the team I’m on is the team that ends 74 years in a row. That number is just unheard of,” said Korn. “The streak is definitely what was going through my head after we lost.”

For 75 straight seasons, the K men’s tennis team has been at the top of the MIAA. Over the last seven-plus decades, the Hornets have gone 461-3 in the MIAA. Seventy-two of the seasons resulted in an outright title for Kalamazoo, though in three seasons, there has been a tie at the top. This year, Calvin and Hope both earned a share of the title and in 2003 and 1962, Hope shared the championship with K.

Dominance over that amount of time is unheard of. Mostly due to the difficulties of reloading a team and competing every single day, though also because most athletic leagues have not been around long enough for teams to even achieve this. Three of the six Division I power conferences were not founded until the streak was underway.

“The streak began when they were still using wooden rackets,” said Rothstein. “This was before World War 2.”

Seventy-five years of excellence can begin to make some think that wins are inevitable, pre-determined. But a record of such prestige does not come easy.

“A lot of people think we just go out there and walk all over people and that’s not the case,” said Faber. 

“On any given day if [the opponent] comes out and plays a good match and we’re not there mentally, then they can beat us. And that’s what happened against Calvin.”

“The fact that that’s only happened three times over the span of 75 years...it’s ridiculous,” said Faber.

A common mention in the professional tennis world is the drought Great Britain is currently suffering through between Wimbledon men’s singles champions. The last British player to complete the feat was Fred Perry, capping a streak of three straight championships in 1936—the same year K’s streak began.

Yet the improbability and longevity of the streak have received little mention.

“Do people here know about it? I don’t even know who knows about it,” said Rothstein.

“It’s a little annoying. I mean, it’s just kind of a shame. It’s not just our team, it’s all those teams,” said Faber.

However, recognition does not drive the streak and the players admitted a lack of acknowledgment is not really an issue to them.

“We don’t do it so everyone talks about it,” said Rothstein.

“There’s a lot to play for when you’re playing here. It’s something bigger than yourself,” said sophomore Matthew Colapinto.

“It doesn’t bother me. It’s something I want for myself and to continue building the legacy for the other people that have been a part of it and the future people that are going to be a part of it,” said Korn.

At K, the players have been treated to some form of acknowledgement, though small, by peers and faculty.

“People came up to me in the days after we won and congratulated me. So that was nice. Some people actually recognized it,” said Faber.

Outside of the school though, news of the streak seems as silent as the team’s dreadful bus ride. D3tennis.blogspot.com and DIII tennis guy, one of the few media members solely concerned with the world of NCAA Division III tennis, made no mention of the streak in postseason articles. It was like it didn’t exist. There was no praise for the legacy of K College tennis, though there was criticism:

“...Kalamazoo, who I just can’t stand anymore because their program has turned from competitive into a complete joke.”

Those remarks came in a preseason article in the fall and did not go without notice from the Hornet players. Members of the team read the comments and passed it along to teammates shortly after.

“We tried to kind of use it as motivation,” said Faber. “He had no idea about our team. He didn’t know that Bo and Max, our freshmen, were good. He just looks at the ranking stars. He reads the scores.”

“He’s just someone looking at the paper,” said Rothstein.

“You can’t assess a team online. You can’t just look at a number and say this is a bad season, this is a bad team. All these horrible things. Unless you’re actually there and in the midst of it,” said Korn.

History does show a drop-off in national results for the Hornets though. Their seven national titles came between 1976 and 1993. Throughout the 90’s, they never finished lower than third at NCAAs.

However, they have not achieved that type of success in the 2000’s. The team has made it to the quarterfinals three times since 2000. For a team that never finished lower than fifth from 1976 to 1999 though, the quarterfinals is not enough. And the Hornets have not even reached that level since 2005.

K’s current team sees the talent trending up and they are confident in the future success of the program.

“Coach has become more aggressive in terms of recruiting,” said Faber.

Part of the evolution is recruiting talent, though the greater challenge may be developing the talent to compete at the national level.

“[Coach] treats us like a Division I program,” said Rothstein. “We always get some top ten teams, a couple top 20 teams in our schedules.”

“For a team at our status, we play the hardest schedule we can,” said Korn.

Even with the talent and preparation though, sometimes what separates the great teams is the mental game.

“The difference between us and top teams is doing whatever it takes to stay out there and compete,” said Faber. “In terms of skill, we can compete with those teams. This year.”

“It’s about if everyone is willing to sacrifice and say this is what I want to do. It’s easy to say I want to make the final eight or the final four, but it’s really about, what your priorities?” said Colapinto.

“I think that a lot of it is work ethic and expectation,” said Korn. “Once you get inside the ranked teams in Division III tennis, there’s so little separating number 30 from number 5.”

The team’s skill level will look to gain a boost next year with at least five incoming freshmen. Three of the players come from Michigan, though one is from Illinois and the other from Florida. The prestige of the program helps to recruit in-state talent.

“A lot of tennis players already know of it. Even the ones that don’t go here,” said Rothstein.

“This is a pretty obvious school to consider if you’re from Michigan,” said Korn. “A lot of kids do know, whether or not they played here, they know that we have this really nice facility, and there’s all of these trophies.”

Recruiting out-of-state though, can be a struggle for a school of K’s stature. However, with Coach Riley’s aggressive recruiting and continued success of the program, Faber sees no reason the Hornets can’t continue to recruit top talent.

“Our indoor facilities and our academics and how nice our campus is, people want to come,” said Faber. “Especially when they see our outdoor tennis courts.”

Stowe Stadium was dedicated in 1946 and despite renovations to maintain the court, such as a resurfacing and fence replacement last summer, the stadium has maintained a similar structure to its 1946 birth. It serves as the host of the USTA Boys’ 16 and 18 national tournaments every summer, attracting top talent like Arthur Ashe, Pete Sampras and Andy Roddick during its years in Kalamazoo. This season, it was the host site of the men’s and women’s Division III national championships.

“They show [prospective students] Stowe Stadium on the tour,” said Rothstein. “And coaches take recruits into Markin [Racquet Center] and walk past the trophies.”

Since its dedication, Stowe has served as a landmark of Kalamazoo College. It leaves a lasting impression. The history that has taken place on the stadium’s courts could fill an encyclopedia.

“It’s our Big House,” said Faber.

Like Rothstein noted, many prospective athletes are taken into Markin by their coaches during visits. This gives potential athletes the opportunity to see the legacy of Kalamazoo tennis.

“The coach shows them the Hall of Fame and the memorabilia and our trophies. They tell them about the streak,” said Faber.

That recognition is more than welcome; however, to a team robbed of the praise they probably deserve.

“It’s cool that tennis is talked about and brought up and it’s one of those things to kind of show the school off,” said Colapinto.

“It does make you feel good,” said Rothstein. “You just kind of feel like we’re the best team and they’re using that and our accomplishments to help attract other athletes.”

The accomplishments are far from over though. Days after being eliminated from their NCAA regional, the men were back on the iconic courts working. They don’t need the recognition, the talking or the press. The trophies in Markin, the legacy of the program and the National Championship banners are looming. No matter the time of the year, the players can be found in pairs at Stowe or Markin with the recognizable echo of a fuzzy, neon ball. History awaits them.

75 years of pressure

The famous coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Winning is a habit.” The Kalamazoo College Tennis team adopted the habit in 1936, Lombardi’s last year as a college student at Fordham University, and they haven’t kicked it since.

On April 3, the Calvin Knights did their best to help end a 74 year habit. The Knights defeated the Hornets 6-3 at home. And all of a sudden, It was in jeopardy.

“It was a quiet car ride back,” said junior Peter Rothstein. “We all knew what was at stake.”

The Hornet loss to Calvin was just the third time in 75 years the team had lost a dual-match in the MIAA and the first ever loss to Calvin. It left the guys scared.

“I was extremely concerned after Calvin. We had never lost to Calvin before. And I had never been a part of an MIAA loss,” said junior Skippy Faber.

Though coach Mark Riley made it a point in his post-match speech to his team that Hope could still beat Calvin and, if K beat Hope, create a three-way tie atop the standings. It could be preserved. Still, the team rode down US-131 in silence.

“It was the lowest I’ve ever seen the mood since my time here. Really bad,” said Faber. “People didn’t talk for days.”

Kalamazoo College men’s tennis is defined by excellence. The team has won seven national championships, with the most recent coming in 1993. They’ve made the NCAA tournament every year since it’s inception, 1976. Including winning the national championship that first year. None of those accomplishments silenced the Hornets on April 3 though. Instead, it was the looming pressure of It.

“There is pressure. We don’t want to be the team that loses it,” said Rothstein.

In the end, Coach Riley ended up being right. Hope defeated Calvin 6-3 on the last day of the MIAA regular season matches, the same day Kalamazoo completed their season with a 9-0 victory at Alma. It was preserved.

For 75 straight seasons, the K men’s tennis has been at the top of the MIAA. Over the last seven-plus decades, the Hornets have gone 461-3 in the MIAA. 72 of the seasons resulted in an outright title for Kalamazoo, though in three seasons, there has been a tie at the top. This year, Calvin and Hope both earned a share of the title and in 2003 and 1962, Hope shared the championship with K.

Dominance over that amount of time is unheard of. Mostly due to the difficulties of reloading a team and competing every single day, though also because most athletic leagues have not been around long enough for teams to even achieve this. Three of the six Division I power conferences were not founded until the streak was underway.

“The streak began when they were still using wooden rackets,” said Rothstein. “This was before World War 2.”

A record of such prestige does not come easy.

“A lot of people think we just go out there and walk all over people and that’s not the case,” said Faber. 

“On any given day if [the opponent] comes out and plays a good match and we’re not there mentally, then they can beat us. And that’s what happened against Calvin.”

“The fact that that’s only happened three times over the span of 75 years....it’s ridiculous.”

A common mention in the professional tennis world is the drought Great Britain is currently suffering through between Wimbledon men’s singles champions. The last British player to compete the feat was Fred Perry, capping a streak of three straight championships in 1936—the same year K’s streak began.

Yet the improbability and longevity of the streak have received little mention.

“Do people here know about it? I don’t even know who knows about it,” said Rothstein.

“It’s a little annoying. I mean, it’s just kind of a shame. It’s not just our team, it’s all those teams,” said Faber.

Recognition does not drive the streak though and the players admitted a lack of recognition is not really an issue to them.

“We don’t do it so everyone talks about it,” said Rothstein.

Within the college, the players were treated to some form of acknowledgement by peers and faculty.

“A lot of people came up to me in the days after we won and congratulated me. So that was nice. Some people actually recognized it,” said Faber.

Outside of the school though, news of the streak seems as silent as the teams dreadful bus ride. D3tennis.blogspot.com and DIII tennis guy, one of the few media members solely concerned with the world of NCAA Division III tennis, made no mention of the streak in postseason articles. It was like it didn’t exist. There was no praise for the legacy of K College tennis, though there was criticism:

“...Kalamazoo, who I just can’t stand anymore because their program has turned from competitive into a complete joke.”

Those remarks came in a preseason article in the fall and did not go without notice from the Hornet players. Members of the team read the comments and passed it along to teammates shortly after.

“We tried to kind of use it as motivation,” said Faber. “He had no idea about our team. He didn’t know that Beau and Max, our freshmen, were good. He just looks at the ranking stars. He reads the scores.”

“He’s just someone looking at the paper,” said Rothstein.

History does show a drop-off in National results for the Hornets though. Their seven national titles came between 1976 and 1993. Throughout the 90’s, they never finished lower than 3rd at NCAAs.

Though they have not achieved that type of success in the 2000s. The team has made it to the quarterfinals three times since 2000. For a team that never finished lower than fifth from 1976 to 1999 though, the quarterfinals is not enough. And the team has not even reached that level since 2005.

K’s current team sees the talent trending up though. They are confident in the future success of the program.

“Coach has become more aggressive in terms of recruiting,” said Faber.

Part of the evolution is recruiting talent, though the greater challenge may be developing the talent to compete at the national level.

“[Coach] treats us like a Division I program,” said Rothstein. “We always get some top ten teams, a couple top 20 teams in our schedules.”

Even with the talent and preparation though, sometimes what separates the great teams is the mental game.

“The difference between us and top teams is doing whatever it takes to stay out there and compete,” said Faber. “In terms of skill, we can compete with those teams. This year.”

The teams skill-level will look to gain a boost next year with at least five incoming freshmen. Three of the players come from within Michigan, though one is from Illinois and the other from Florida. The prestige of the program helps to recruit in-state talent.

“A lot of tennis players already know of it. Even the ones that don’t go here,” said Rothstein.

Recruiting out-of-state though, is a struggle for a school of K’s stature. However, with Coach Riley’s aggressive recruiting and continued success of the program, Faber sees no reason the Hornets can’t continue to recruit top talent.

“Our indoor facilities and our academics and how nice our campus is, People want to come,” said Faber. “Especially when they see our outdoor tennis courts.”

Stowe Stadium was dedicated in 1946 and despite renovations to maintain the court, such as a resurfacing and fence replacement last summer, the stadium has maintained a similar structure to its 1946 birth. It serves as the host of the USTA Boys’ 16 and 18 national tournaments every summer, attracting top talent like Arthur Ashe, Pete Sampras and Andy Roddick during its years in Kalamazoo. This season, it was the host site of the men’s and women’s Division III national championships.

“They show [prospective students] Stowe Stadium on the tour,” said Rothstein. “And coaches take recruits into Markin [Racquet Center] and walk past the trophies.”

Since its dedication, Stowe has served as a landmark of Kalamazoo College. It leaves a lasting impression. The history that has taken place on the stadium’s courts could fill an encyclopedia.

“It’s our Big House,” said Faber.

Like Rothstein noted, many prospective athletes are taken into Markin by their coaches during visits. This gives potential athletes the opportunity to see the legacy of Kalamazoo tennis.

“The coach shows them the hall of fame and the memorabilia and our trophies. They tell them about the streak. Which I think is kind of funny,” said Faber.

That recognition is more than welcome; however, to a team robbed of the praise they probably deserve.

“It does make you feel good,” said Rothstein. “You just kind of feel like we’re the best team and they’re using that and our accomplishments to help attract other athletes.”

Week 9

Given the opportunity to pick a piece to read for this week, I immediately knew my choice would be focused on sports. The first piece I thought of was one I remember reading a couple months back, a profile of Michael Jordan in ESPN the magazine. The piece does a wonderful job of highlighting the competitive nature still lingering in Jordan. I felt I came away knowing more about Michael Jordan the person, while so many other articles focus on his pedigree as a player. It is a longer piece, but definitely an enjoyable read (although I'd probably read anything about Jordan so take my opinion as you will).

The piece I chose to focus on though is a collection of articles from a 2009 edition of Sports Illustrated. My favorite of the collection is a piece titled "Tigertown" by Lee Jenkins. The piece addresses the importance of the Tigers within the struggling Detroit and how the team is helping to build up the struggling city. I particularly enjoyed the piece because it highlights what the presence of a team can do for a city. In addition to this, Jenkins provides a mini-profile of Tigers' owner Mike Illitch as well as images of the city.

I found the rest of the pieces within the collection to be interesting as well, including one by Mitch Albom. For those interested in baseball or Detroit, I suggest perusing the entire collection.

Couldn't help but include a picture of the fountain displaying the Tigers' support...

Road to graduation process writing

This piece ended up being difficult for me to write. Originally, I was intending on writing about tennis, a much more mild subject with which I find myself more comfortable. Finding a way to tell Abby's story was a struggle. Following the interview, I was blown away by her story and wanted to make sure I did it some sort of justice in my piece. I think it was beneficial for me to do this piece; however, because it took me out of my comfort a little and forced me to write about something I had never really been faced with. In the end, I think it helped me as a writer to take on a new subject.

Road to Graduation (Final)

Now, she laughs. Sitting on her green leather couch, she reminisces with friends. They speak about their time out at bars last weekend, her last visits ever as an undergrad. Eventually the conversation shifts further back: drunken escapades, classes they shared, how they met. It is a time for looking back. 

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.

At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six painkillers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, “If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Always doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over-the-counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.

She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, 24 hours before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.” She lowers her glasses from her forehead, pushing her blond hair from her face.

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.

Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma from the MSU College of Communications to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

“I would talk to her as much as I could, trying everything I could to make her smile just for a second,” her boyfriend, Peter, said. “It was tough being away from her, because I never knew what might happen. The night in the winter was the scariest of my life.”

Despite the influence of her positive voice urging her to seek further help, Abby steadily resisted professional help.

“I tried to push her toward seeking professional help, but she was always against it,” Peter said. “I think it was hard for her to open up about it.”

“I met with a doctor I had seen in high school around March of my freshman year,” Abby said, “it just pissed me off and made me feel worse, anti-therapy.”

For college age students, suicide can be a serious issue. The American College Health Association estimates that roughly 7.5 of 100,000 college students commit suicide. In a 2002 study, the ACHA estimated that 1 in 12 college students has made a suicide plan at some point and approximately 1.5 of 100 have gone through with the plan. 

“I wanted to keep it to myself. I didn’t like the idea of being another statistic,” Abby said.

The Michigan State Counseling Center offers students the opportunity to speak with counselors and engage in interviews to determine necessary help. The center also offers resources for self-help and an online depression self-assessment.

“I knew they had options, but I just didn’t feel like going,” Abby said. “I was never really interested in it at school. I tried a self-health group once and hated it. No one said anything and it wasn’t mediated well at all. Plus, it was harder to keep it a secret if I was doing that.”

According to Washington University in St. Louis, two-thirds of people who suffer from depression do not seek necessary treatment.

One factor that Arizona State University counselors suggest can help with depression is close-personal relationships. Abby’s newfound support system helped show her this.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

“I was just constantly reminding her how many people cared about her and loved her,” Peter said. “I always told her would beat it together.”

This help was a turning point for Abby, allowing her to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”

Events of October

The amount of people she interviewed and spoke with for the book was very striking to me. It gives an understanding of the amount of reporting necessary to capture the full breadth of a story. I found it especially great in the pieces of the book that recreated scene, such as the “This Endless Night” chapter. She accounted for every angle of the story, including even small details. Including the details about what friends were doing in other places on campus on the time gave it a full feel. It was eery thinking about the scene at Dewaters and cop cars rolling through campus while everyone slept and studied. Especially being a K student, this resonated with me.

Thinking about all the reporting brought me back to what we keep discussing: the outline. I’m wondering about the process in taking on a project like this and how she tackled it. With the hours of interviews she had to have, it would seem daunting to begin filing that down to a cohesive unit. I’d like to discuss if she did create an outline for the book and how she found and maintained a structure.

Lastly, I though that at times it was very beneficial to the story that Gail was a professor and member of the K community. She was able to capture subtle details of the college, as well as provide an insight into some of those involved beyond the reporting scene. I am wondering how it may have read differently had someone with no connection to K had written it? Not really sure how I think it would affect it, but some food for thought.

Road to Graduation (First Revision)

Now, she laughs. Sitting on her green leather couch, she reminisces with friends. They speak about their time out at bars last weekend, her last visits ever as an undergrad. Eventually the conversation shifts further back: drunken escapades, classes they shared, how they met. It is a time for looking back. 

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.

At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six painkillers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, 

“If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over-the-counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.

She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, 24 hours before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.” She lowers her glasses from her forehead, pushing her blond hair from her face.

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.

Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

Despite the influence of her positive voice urging her to seek further help, Abby steadily resisted professional help.

“I met with a doctor I had seen in high school around March of my freshman year,” Abby said, “it just pissed me off and made me feel worse, anti-therapy.”

For college age students, suicide can be a serious issue. The Internet is plastered with statistics backing up the claim. The American College Health Association estimates that roughly 7.5 of 100,000 college students commit suicide. In a 2002 study, the ACHA estimated that 1 in 12 college students has made a suicide plan at some point and approximately 1.5 of 100 have gone through with the plan. 

“I wanted to keep it to myself. I didn’t like the idea of being another statistic,” Abby said.

The Michigan State Counseling Center offers students the opportunity to speak with counselors and engage in interviews to determine necessary help. The center also offers resources for self-help and an online depression self-assessment.

“I knew they had options, but I just didn’t feel like going,” Abby said. “I was never really interested in it at school. I tried a self-health group once and hated it. No one said anything and it wasn’t mediated well at all. Plus, it was harder to keep it a secret if I was doing that.”

According to Washington University in St. Louis, two-thirds of people who suffer from depression do not seek necessary treatment.

One factor that Arizona State University counselors suggest can help with depression is close-personal relationships. Abby’s newfound support system helped show her this.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

This help was a turning point for Abby, allowing her to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”

Week 7 Response

Walt Harrington’s “How I Get to the Point” stood out to me from the reading as it addressed the topic of outline further. Since constructing our dynamic outlines I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the process. I favored the dynamic outline to the traditional outline, but even so, I’ve been resisting the idea some. I find it to be very helpful in helping to maintain focus, especially later in a piece, but it still feels somewhat mechanical to me. An idea from Harrington struck me though, 

“After writing the first three hundred or so words of an eight-thousand-word piece, I stopped writing, and at that late stage, with the project clearly centered, I finally jotted down an outline of the entire piece.” 

This is interesting because at this point, your piece would already have a sort of foundation. You are grounded somewhere. Having centered yourself and begun to tackle the piece, you can become filled with ideas. For me, as I write, more things come to mind or I realize something isn’t working, so I change it; however, from the beginning I am preparing my plan for the piece within my head. An early post-beginning outline could be very beneficial to me in helping to keep my thoughts organized as I go. I think that this is something I may try to do in the future. The benefits of an outline are clear to me, but finding the exact right process for it is something I still need to achieve.

Road to Graduation (profile)

“I knew I was supposed to be having the time of my life, but I couldn’t.”

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.

At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six pain killers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, “If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over the counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.

She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, the day before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.”

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.

Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

With her newfound support-system, Abby was able to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t even point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, 

there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”

Week 5 Response

“Frank has a Cold” really drew me in and did a great job of combining elements to create a strong overall piece. I enjoyed the use of physical descriptions and felt they did a good job to paint a scene. I found it especially useful that the writer captured everyone’s presence; the other people in the story are as important to the whole piece as Sinatra is. Getting to see them alongside Sinatra was nice. The details about all these people and his interactions with them allowed readers to understand Sinatra more. For example, the inclusion of his toupee-woman and her weekly pay. 

The writer did a good job of incorporating present events with memories. Stories such as the one about the Jeep’s paint-job allow readers to see more of Sinatra, something beyond the four or five days the reporter may have spent with him. This is addressed somewhat in Telling True Stories by Malcolm Gladwell. Reporters can’t hope to define the complexity of a person through just a couple days of conservations. These backstory memories about Sinatra and his friends give the reader more. The dialogue used by the author does this further. A writer can say how someone was acting, but the only way to truly get an idea for yourself is to hear exactly what someone is saying. The writer does this well by combining dialogue with a plethora of descriptions about the surrounding scene and action.

One thing I wondered about in the MacFarquhar piece is the idea of never talking about yourself in an interview. She describes it as a “source of power” to not reveal information about yourself. I agree that in some interviews it would not make sense to do so and obviously the focus should be on the subject. But, I don’t necessarily think reporters need to always stonewall themselves. Some people will be more willing to open up after seeing others do the same. In some cases, sharing information about yourself could break down any existing awkward dynamic.

Moving Out (revised w/outline)

I made the decision to not return to my dad’s house for the summer during the spring term of my sophomore year. My older sister, Audrey, had offered me the opportunity to live with her and her husband for the summer. Their house was no more than two miles from my dad’s, the only place I had ever lived besides my college dorms.

I wanted to break the news to my parents in a designed way; a calculated conversation to not only explain, but also to talk-up the decision I had already made. Audrey, however, was not so deliberate. She let the news slip before I could say anything. For some reason, having my parents know the decision before I spoke to them freaked me out. My anxiety took over; and I was struck with fear about facing my decision.

Mom’s conversation came first. I knew she wouldn’t be ecstatic about the choice. She had proposed me living with her before, but I never viewed it as a real option. For one, she lived too far away. And two, I simply did not want to live with her. Since my parents divorce eight years earlier, and her subsequent move out, I had steadily grown more distant from my mother.

I called her from my dorm room and knew exactly what was coming: “Why are you moving out of your dad’s to live with Audrey? Why don’t you live with me? Can you even live there? I have a bed for you. A real bed.”

She actually said that. A real bed. My sister and I had a great laugh about it later; as if our mother was the only person around with an actual bed. And one that I could sleep in nonetheless. Her irrationality exceeded expectations.

I explained to her that Audrey’s house did in fact have a real-life bed for me to sleep on and how it wasn’t personal and the location was better. On and on, I said anything to get her off the phone, my go-to move when talking to her. She will keep me on the phone for hours nodding and yes-ing along as she talks to herself about anything she can think of. I can set down my phone and do anything relatively quiet with my hands (my personal favorite: surf the internet) and not miss much of our conversation. I know to come back as soon as I hear, “Daniel?”

“Yes, Mom, I’m still here.”

The full-time-mother role is not exactly her style, but she never misses an opportunity to criticize. And while I missed out on some of the more necessary maternal roles growing up, I will admit that my mom loves to brag about me. Probably the two main reasons she really wanted me to live with her, it would give her the chance to brag about taking me in (the wonderful accomplishment it is) and maybe show me off to some neighbors. So like I said, I never considered living with her and she probably knew it. That simple fact made the conversation easier to tackle for me.

Butterflies were much more rampant for Dad’s conversation. Some people might move out for freedom’s sake or to escape their parents, but it was never about that for me. Ever since about 13 years old when my friends had to be home for the streetlights, I’ve only had to follow a self-prescribed “respectable” curfew.

For me, what met me at the door had me running. I’d return home at 2 A.M., ever so slightly opening and closing the front door, tip-toeing creaky wooden floors as I dodged a collection of toys and clothes not touched in weeks. Then the attempted stealth trip up the never-quiet stairs. My dad sleeps at the top; no room of his own, just the space the stairs open up to. His small bed softened by a collection of futon pads and flanked by piles of books about many religions. Most nights he’d greet me in a half-sleep mumble: “Dan?”

Also in the house were my brother, his girlfriend, their daughter, my sister and her daughter. Each morning, I would wake to my oldest niece prodding me awake, a collection of crying nieces downstairs or an argument between my brother and sister about the unnecessary topic of the day. I rarely brought people over. The uncertainty of what might occur was enough of a deterrent, but I must admit shame was a factor. 

The dreaded conversation was short. I saved it for my last day at school before returning home to the east side of Michigan for the summer. My stomach did flips as I dialed my one-and-only landline phone number.

“So you’re going to live with Audrey?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I think it will be fine.”

“Ok, do you need anything from me?”

“Not that I can think of. But I will probably come by tomorrow to pick some things up from the house when I get home.”

“Ok, well I’ll be at work till 6.”

Simple. To the point. And little emotion. My dad and I were definitely cut from the same cloth. He seemed slightly put-off by my choice, but his lack of any real emotion showed me he was at least on board with my decision to this point. Hiding emotion is not my dad’s style. I learned swear words at a young age sitting at the top of our basement steps. When something upset him, I could hear him throw a barrage of words I knew I was never supposed to say at his many stacks of books. I was relieved to not play the role of the books that day. 

The following day, I returned to the east side to stack my clutter into a new room. Laying in my new real-bed, I couldn’t help but be excited: no two-year old would be waking me up before noon tomorrow.

Intended Publication: Lives

Words: 1,010

Outline:

Complication: Daniel makes choice.

Development: Daniel call Mom.

Memories cause uneasiness

Dad eases fears

Resolution: Daniel moves out. 

Week 4: Franklin

     Most textbooks or “informative” books come off as very bland, so I was pleasantly surprised by the tone at some points of the book. While his inner-monologue was slightly off-putting at times, it helped me stay engaged and made it an easy read.

     The “English Teacher’s Revenge” was a great way to discuss the outline. I knew exactly what he was talking about and identified with it a lot. As a whole, the Formal Outline sucks. Throughout my education, I’ve done my best to avoid them. Even when required, I’d sketch a quick outline of some paper, but probably not anything I would ever actually write. Franklin’s dynamic outline seems like something I would use though. It’s simple and it defines a path or idea to follow, but it doesn’t seem definite, there is room to stray and create.

     I also enjoyed the section about the “saga form.” The idea of writing in segments, each with a sort of cliffhanger is great. I’ve never really thought about it, or rather, never thought about it in my own writing. But you see it everywhere. Franklin’s example of Star Wars and movies made to have sequels is a perfect example. Something else I thought of was the feeling you get when reading a book and you just can’t put it down, you must read the next chapter. I’m interested to look and think more about the structure within smaller pieces, such as “Mrs. Kelly’s Monster.”

Moving (Revised)

I made the decision to not return to my dad’s house for the summer during the spring term of my sophomore year. My older sister, Audrey, had offered me the opportunity to live with her and her husband for the summer. Their house was no more than two miles from my dad’s, the only place I had ever lived besides my college dorms.

I wanted to break the news to my parents in a designed way; a calculated conversation to not only explain, but also to talk-up the decision I had already made. Audrey, however, was not so deliberate. She let the news slip before I could say anything. And when I found out, I was overcome with nervousness in facing my decision.

Mom’s conversation came first. I knew she wouldn’t be ecstatic about the decision. She had proposed me living with her before, but I never viewed it as a real option. For one, she lived too far away. And two, I simply did not want to live with her.

I called her from my dorm room and knew exactly what was coming: “Why are you moving out of your dad’s to live with Audrey? Why don’t you live with me? I have offered plenty of times before. Can you even live there? I have a bed for you. A real bed.”

She actually said that. A real bed. My sister and I had a great laugh about it later; as if our mother was the only person around with an actual bed. And one that I could sleep in nonetheless. Her irrationality exceeded expectations.

I explained to her that Audrey’s house did in fact have a real-life bed for me to sleep on and how it wasn’t personal and the location was better. On and on, I said anything to get her off the phone, my go-to move when talking to her. She will keep me on the phone for hours nodding and yes-ing along as she talks to herself about anything she can think of. I can set down my phone and do anything relatively quiet with my hands, like surf the internet, and not miss much of our conversation. I know to come back as soon as I hear, “Daniel?”

“Yes, Mom, I’m still here.”

She doesn’t prefer the full-time-mother role, but the chance to offer me dwelling at her house is not one she would pass up. It would give her the chance to brag about taking me in (the wonderful accomplishment it is) and maybe show me off to some neighbors. However, I never considered living with her and she probably knew it. The simple fact made the conversation easier to tackle.

Butterflies were much more rampant for Dad’s conversation. Some people might move out for freedom’s sake or to escape their parents, but it was never about that for me. Ever since about 13 years old when my friends had to be home for the streetlights, I’ve only had to follow a self-prescribed “respectable” curfew.

For me, what met me at the door had me running. I’d return home at 2 A.M., ever so slightly opening and closing the front door, tip-toeing creaky wooden floors as I dodged a collection of toys and clothes not touched in weeks. Then the attempted stealth trip up the never-quiet stairs. My dad sleeps at the top; no room of his own, just the space the stairs open up to. His small bed softened by a collection of futon pads and flanked by piles of books about many religions. Most nights he’d greet me in a half-sleep mumble: “Dan?”

Also in the house were my brother, his girlfriend, their daughter, my sister and her daughter. Each morning, I would wake to my oldest niece prodding me awake, a collection of crying nieces downstairs or an argument between my brother and sister about the unnecessary topic of the day. I rarely brought people over. The uncertainty of what might occur was enough of a deterrent, but I must admit shame was a factor. 

The dreaded conversation was short. I saved it for my last day at school before returning home to the east side of Michigan for the summer. My stomach did flips as I dialed my childhood home.

“So you’re going to live with Audrey?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I think it will be fine.”

“Ok, do you need anything from me?”

“Not that I can think of. But I will probably come by tomorrow to pick some things up from the house when I get home.”

“Ok, well I’ll be at work till 6.”

Simple. To the point. And little emotion. My dad and I were definitely cut from the same cloth. And while he seemed slightly put-off by my choice, the conversation was enough to lift any worry from my shoulders. I had made my decision.

The next day, I returned to the east side to pile my things into a new room. Laying in my new real-bed, I couldn’t help but be excited: no two year old would be waking me up before noon tomorrow.

Intended Publication: Lives

Words: 870