Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Week 9

Given the opportunity to pick a piece to read for this week, I immediately knew my choice would be focused on sports. The first piece I thought of was one I remember reading a couple months back, a profile of Michael Jordan in ESPN the magazine. The piece does a wonderful job of highlighting the competitive nature still lingering in Jordan. I felt I came away knowing more about Michael Jordan the person, while so many other articles focus on his pedigree as a player. It is a longer piece, but definitely an enjoyable read (although I'd probably read anything about Jordan so take my opinion as you will).

The piece I chose to focus on though is a collection of articles from a 2009 edition of Sports Illustrated. My favorite of the collection is a piece titled "Tigertown" by Lee Jenkins. The piece addresses the importance of the Tigers within the struggling Detroit and how the team is helping to build up the struggling city. I particularly enjoyed the piece because it highlights what the presence of a team can do for a city. In addition to this, Jenkins provides a mini-profile of Tigers' owner Mike Illitch as well as images of the city.

I found the rest of the pieces within the collection to be interesting as well, including one by Mitch Albom. For those interested in baseball or Detroit, I suggest perusing the entire collection.

Couldn't help but include a picture of the fountain displaying the Tigers' support...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Road to graduation process writing

This piece ended up being difficult for me to write. Originally, I was intending on writing about tennis, a much more mild subject with which I find myself more comfortable. Finding a way to tell Abby's story was a struggle. Following the interview, I was blown away by her story and wanted to make sure I did it some sort of justice in my piece. I think it was beneficial for me to do this piece; however, because it took me out of my comfort a little and forced me to write about something I had never really been faced with. In the end, I think it helped me as a writer to take on a new subject.

Road to Graduation (Final)


Now, she laughs. Sitting on her green leather couch, she reminisces with friends. They speak about their time out at bars last weekend, her last visits ever as an undergrad. Eventually the conversation shifts further back: drunken escapades, classes they shared, how they met. It is a time for looking back. 

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.

At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six painkillers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, “If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Always doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over-the-counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.
She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, 24 hours before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.” She lowers her glasses from her forehead, pushing her blond hair from her face.

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.
Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma from the MSU College of Communications to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

“I would talk to her as much as I could, trying everything I could to make her smile just for a second,” her boyfriend, Peter, said. “It was tough being away from her, because I never knew what might happen. The night in the winter was the scariest of my life.”

Despite the influence of her positive voice urging her to seek further help, Abby steadily resisted professional help.

“I tried to push her toward seeking professional help, but she was always against it,” Peter said. “I think it was hard for her to open up about it.”

“I met with a doctor I had seen in high school around March of my freshman year,” Abby said, “it just pissed me off and made me feel worse, anti-therapy.”

For college age students, suicide can be a serious issue. The American College Health Association estimates that roughly 7.5 of 100,000 college students commit suicide. In a 2002 study, the ACHA estimated that 1 in 12 college students has made a suicide plan at some point and approximately 1.5 of 100 have gone through with the plan. 

“I wanted to keep it to myself. I didn’t like the idea of being another statistic,” Abby said.
The Michigan State Counseling Center offers students the opportunity to speak with counselors and engage in interviews to determine necessary help. The center also offers resources for self-help and an online depression self-assessment.

“I knew they had options, but I just didn’t feel like going,” Abby said. “I was never really interested in it at school. I tried a self-health group once and hated it. No one said anything and it wasn’t mediated well at all. Plus, it was harder to keep it a secret if I was doing that.”

According to Washington University in St. Louis, two-thirds of people who suffer from depression do not seek necessary treatment.

One factor that Arizona State University counselors suggest can help with depression is close-personal relationships. Abby’s newfound support system helped show her this.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

“I was just constantly reminding her how many people cared about her and loved her,” Peter said. “I always told her would beat it together.”

This help was a turning point for Abby, allowing her to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”

Events of October


The amount of people she interviewed and spoke with for the book was very striking to me. It gives an understanding of the amount of reporting necessary to capture the full breadth of a story. I found it especially great in the pieces of the book that recreated scene, such as the “This Endless Night” chapter. She accounted for every angle of the story, including even small details. Including the details about what friends were doing in other places on campus on the time gave it a full feel. It was eery thinking about the scene at Dewaters and cop cars rolling through campus while everyone slept and studied. Especially being a K student, this resonated with me.

Thinking about all the reporting brought me back to what we keep discussing: the outline. I’m wondering about the process in taking on a project like this and how she tackled it. With the hours of interviews she had to have, it would seem daunting to begin filing that down to a cohesive unit. I’d like to discuss if she did create an outline for the book and how she found and maintained a structure.

Lastly, I though that at times it was very beneficial to the story that Gail was a professor and member of the K community. She was able to capture subtle details of the college, as well as provide an insight into some of those involved beyond the reporting scene. I am wondering how it may have read differently had someone with no connection to K had written it? Not really sure how I think it would affect it, but some food for thought.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Road to Graduation (First Revision)


Now, she laughs. Sitting on her green leather couch, she reminisces with friends. They speak about their time out at bars last weekend, her last visits ever as an undergrad. Eventually the conversation shifts further back: drunken escapades, classes they shared, how they met. It is a time for looking back. 

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.
At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six painkillers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, 
“If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over-the-counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.
She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, 24 hours before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.” She lowers her glasses from her forehead, pushing her blond hair from her face.

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.

Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

Despite the influence of her positive voice urging her to seek further help, Abby steadily resisted professional help.

“I met with a doctor I had seen in high school around March of my freshman year,” Abby said, “it just pissed me off and made me feel worse, anti-therapy.”

For college age students, suicide can be a serious issue. The Internet is plastered with statistics backing up the claim. The American College Health Association estimates that roughly 7.5 of 100,000 college students commit suicide. In a 2002 study, the ACHA estimated that 1 in 12 college students has made a suicide plan at some point and approximately 1.5 of 100 have gone through with the plan. 

“I wanted to keep it to myself. I didn’t like the idea of being another statistic,” Abby said.

The Michigan State Counseling Center offers students the opportunity to speak with counselors and engage in interviews to determine necessary help. The center also offers resources for self-help and an online depression self-assessment.

“I knew they had options, but I just didn’t feel like going,” Abby said. “I was never really interested in it at school. I tried a self-health group once and hated it. No one said anything and it wasn’t mediated well at all. Plus, it was harder to keep it a secret if I was doing that.”

According to Washington University in St. Louis, two-thirds of people who suffer from depression do not seek necessary treatment.

One factor that Arizona State University counselors suggest can help with depression is close-personal relationships. Abby’s newfound support system helped show her this.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

This help was a turning point for Abby, allowing her to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Week 7 Response


Walt Harrington’s “How I Get to the Point” stood out to me from the reading as it addressed the topic of outline further. Since constructing our dynamic outlines I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the process. I favored the dynamic outline to the traditional outline, but even so, I’ve been resisting the idea some. I find it to be very helpful in helping to maintain focus, especially later in a piece, but it still feels somewhat mechanical to me. An idea from Harrington struck me though, 

“After writing the first three hundred or so words of an eight-thousand-word piece, I stopped writing, and at that late stage, with the project clearly centered, I finally jotted down an outline of the entire piece.” 

This is interesting because at this point, your piece would already have a sort of foundation. You are grounded somewhere. Having centered yourself and begun to tackle the piece, you can become filled with ideas. For me, as I write, more things come to mind or I realize something isn’t working, so I change it; however, from the beginning I am preparing my plan for the piece within my head. An early post-beginning outline could be very beneficial to me in helping to keep my thoughts organized as I go. I think that this is something I may try to do in the future. The benefits of an outline are clear to me, but finding the exact right process for it is something I still need to achieve.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Road to Graduation (profile)

“I knew I was supposed to be having the time of my life, but I couldn’t.”

Abby came to Michigan State University as an eighteen-year-old in the fall of 2009. Fresh off a 3.9 high school GPA, she turned down the opportunity to swim for MSU and decided to focus on being a student. Living with a girl she knew from home and sharing a bathroom with another good friend, she was excited for the college life.

However, in her first weeks in East Lansing, she began to struggle with a demon from her past: depression.

“Depression and suicidal thoughts began to dominate me,” Abby said.

The depression came first, weighing heavier on her shoulders every day. As she suffered from the pain of it, she bottled up her emotions. Afraid of being viewed as weak, she kept her problems to herself. Her problems were her problems.

“My parents didn’t know. My friends didn’t know. I didn’t want people’s pity,” Abby said.

At 14, Abby’s parents informed her they were getting a divorce. The separation was complete three days before her 16th birthday. Less than a year later, her mom would leave the state and move to Georgia.

“So much of it stemmed from their divorce. I was really depressed my sophomore year of high school when the divorce was happening. I didn’t want to do anything ever,” Abby said.

Similar feelings of not wanting to do anything crept back to her in her first year at Michigan State. Hours would pass as she lay in her bed, engulfed in darkness, crying.

“I don’t even remember what it was really like. I was a different person. Sadness was the norm,” Abby said.

As weeks passed, the feelings worsened. Sadness remained constant, but was joined by thoughts of suicide.

“I thought about it daily. When I drove I would think, ‘I can just hit that wall or a pole,’” Abby said.

Throughout her first semester, the thoughts of suicide remained. On certain nights, she would take five or six pain killers or sleeping pills, hoping to fall asleep and ease her pain, but also consciously thinking, “If I don’t wake up, it’s no big deal.”

When her roommate was around she’d hide it. Doing her best to hold back tears and put on a straight face. Anytime she was alone though, the feelings dominated her. 

She returned home for winter break still harboring the negative feelings. Home alone one evening, upset and crying, she took another step in her depression.

“I didn’t think anyone would notice. I thought I could get away with it. I was ready to be done,” Abby said.

That night she ingested upwards of 20 over the counter drugs: Benadryl, Tylenol PM, anything she could find. After swallowing the collection of pills, Abby passed out on her bathroom floor.

She would awake in the hospital later that night. Alive thanks to a timely visit from her sister and three stomach pumps in the emergency room. 

“When I first awoke in the hospital, it was like an out-of-body experience. I could see myself doing the terrible things and I was questioning myself, ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?’” Abby said. “I saw what I was doing and I knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but I couldn’t make myself stop. It was like sane me had lost all control.”

Today, as she sits on the front porch of her final East Lansing residence, the day before her graduation, tears well in her eyes thinking about her “rock bottom.”

While that winter night may have been her lowest, it was far from the end of her struggles. She returned to school in January, still dealing with overwhelming feelings of sadness. Suicide still lingered in her mind.

“The nights I was really upset, I wished it had worked. I wanted to be dead,” Abby said.

Along with her green gown, Abby will be wearing gold chords when she accepts her diploma to signify to those present that she is receiving her degree with honor. And if her final semester’s grades factored in prior to graduation: high-honor.

Even when contemplating suicide, she found a way to go to class. 

“I remember sitting in the classes, but I can’t remember a thing that happened in them,” she said.

Control of her life was slipping away. School, though, was the one thing she still felt a sense of control over. So even as she went through her days in a haze, she knew she had to get things done.

“I needed to do well. Because [school] was fully on me, I did it,” Abby said.

In March of her freshman year, her niece was born and happiness began to find her again.  

“I remember being really happy around the time she was born,” Abby said.

The depression would not go away though. Negative feelings still ran rampant through her freshman year and would continue into her junior year.

“It became less defining. It wasn’t my whole life anymore,” Abby said

By the time she began her second year at MSU, suicide was barely a thought. However, she still found ways to hurt herself. Knocking her head against the cement wall in her dorm room or burning patches of skin people wouldn’t see with her hair straightener on bad days.

“It was like I was addicted to the pain,” Abby said.

Toward the end of her freshman year, Abby’s walls came down a little bit. Though her parents never knew, her sister was now aware. As was her boyfriend. And they were checking up on her.

“I finally had a positive voice. They didn’t want to lose me,” she said. “In April of my freshman year, my boyfriend told me he loved me. When that happened, I knew he legitimately cared about me. I didn’t want to take that away.”

With her newfound support-system, Abby was able to continue on the journey to recovery and eventually reach a point of sustained happiness. In her final days as a college student though, she can’t even point to a definite end. And perhaps, she hasn’t reached it yet.

“I still deal with lingering sadness. When I am sad, I’m really sad,” Abby said. “When things go wrong, 
there are times where I still feel like I’m not good enough, like I didn’t do things right, like I’m stupid.”

A new chapter approaches for her though. And as she closes the books on her time in East Lansing, though sadness may linger sometimes, the lessons learned are engraved within her.

“I’ve been thinking about some of those nights a lot lately and how far I’ve come,” Abby said. “I grew up a lot and I’m glad I allowed myself the opportunity to do so.”

“I was a depressed kid. And now, I’m graduating.”